Love Evolution

Been thinking.... A LOT. Can't begin to re-trace the train of events and the flow of thought that led me to the spiritual revelation which I received today but I'll try and explain the concepts that led me there.... using a somewhat mathematical breakdown. Basically, I believe that right now, while a few wise ones (comparatively speaking) have already been able to achieve it, we are at a cusp in time when the masses achieve an evolution of consciousness. We are, collectively, going to figure out the meaning/secret to life itself soon.... This is all of what i've been pondering from January of this year through a few days ago:

What makes us different from other species on this planet? THOUGHT. Cognition. Apes have apposable thumbs and can walk almost upright, they could probably achieve most physical feats we can what separates us from them is our ability to think, THAT is how we evolved from ape to man (biological evolutionary science i think supports this as the major change seen between apes and humans is skull shape and size, right?).

We gained the ability to learn about and adapt to our environment and we've been able to achieve an amazing ability to do that- we enjoy a standard of survival (won't say standard of "living" cuz I don't think we've achieved that yet) above any generation before us. But we became so good at it that we began to esteem ourselves as above nature itself- as if we could live beyond the limitations of what our earth (God...?) has put in place for us survive. We are close to completely destroying our very means of survival; we were only given this one planet. Our adaptive nature, from that initial evolutionary moment (ape to man), is making us more and more collectively aware of this problem.

Now, think of what one of the key discoveries was when we were at the last evolutionary moment. Think about the story from Genesis; Adam and Eve. The story goes that instead of eating from "Tree of Life" they bit into the apple from the "Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil". In my Christian days, I was told by some this was metaphorical and by some it was literal. At the time I read a short book that explained it as metaphorical, not getting into the biting of the apple and what that meant, but explaining  how when it says "God formed man in his image", that doesn't mean if we could see God he would look like a human, it means he created us with free will.... Knowledge! Consciousness! This struck a cord with me and I adopted the belief as my own. But I never could figure out what all that deceiving serpent, apple biting, cast from the garden stuff was about.

Then today I thought, imagine what we might have realized soon after we gained our free will, our knowledge.... that we can/have hurt our brother. Somewhere in the midst (which was probly a span of a few  ten thousand years or so) of this period in our evolution we were at an unique transition; aggression/violence was an act of self-preservation, an instinct, as it is with animals, but we who recently gained knowledge had a dilemma- we felt empathy... compassion... LOVE. How could we kill our fellow man, for any reason? We instantly felt GUILT. So as we gained love we also instantly gained guilt... "the knowledge of good and evil". Think about it, animals don't have true love or guilt.

I watched a program on animal planet once where they were following a family of polar bears. The mother polar bear had 2 cubs, one was robust and healthy, aggressive, the other was smaller and weaker and the mother polar bear sometimes had to intervene and protect him from his brother, or carry him distance. Momma polar bear eventually abandon the weaker cub, because her instinct told her that helping him along would compromise the survival of herself and her stronger cub. She did what she, instinctively, had to do. Just as male lions will fight and kill others to protect they're tribe, ensuring the survival of their offspring. We now have the capacity to ensure our survival without violence, there is enough for everyone if we share and respect each others right to live. So why do we still fight?

Now, if you think about it, what separates us the most from our "brother" today? What causes strife? Human dissonance is centered around differences in what we believe is "right" and "wrong"; what constitutes our "right to live". It's an ethical quandry we can never seem to agree on. I've always felt our founding fathers mocked us when they asserted the government would protect the human rights of "life, liberty and happiness"- did they think we'd really agree on the definition of that?!!  Why can't we agree. I've narrowed it down to this: we have guilt because we hurt our brother, this causes us to doubt our intellectual aptitude at all which makes us feel worthless- it's this constant feeling of worthlessness and inherent evil that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy perpetuating this horrible cycle, for what, at least a million years now (idk).

So here is an extremely brief history of the human psyche starting at the dawn of our "birth"; "I love you! Oh no, what have I done?! I am a wretched fool! I am stupid, worthless! If i'm fallible, so are you, you are wrong! I'm wrong, your wrong, we're bad and we do bad things! God help us! Govern us, we're stupid and bad! Make us whole, teach us the way, we'll fight our way in, we'll buy our way in, please tell us we're worthy!!"

THIS is why the corporations, governments, banks, etc have been able to take advantage of us and control us. They've helped perpetuate and kept this self lie going because it profits them (they are the few victims of extraordinary knowledge coupled with intense guilt, passed down over generations). We are unworthy and vulnerable simply because we think we are, we are violent simply because we think we are. "Evil" is guilt in disguise, and guilt is all in our heads. But what came before the feeling of guilt was the feeling of LOVE. Love is our true nature, love is part of the knowledge that separates us from other species. When we accept this, when we forgive ourselves, and our brother, we can reconcile with love, and know peace on earth. I believe these were the real teachings of Jesus.

It's time to reconcile with our true nature and take the next step in evolution from surviving on this planet to living on it. The only barrier is ignorance (in the literal and NOT judgmental sense). When we collectively overcome ignorance, and gain our new knowledge we will adapt by reconciling with love. It's the next evolutionary step and the vibration of it's fast approaching is already being felt- this is at the essence of the Occupy movement; a peaceful call, a spiritual hum resonating in anticipation of this evolutionary phase.
2012.... Bring it on!

Pretty confident in this philosophy (and pretty sure someone has philosophized it before) but as always, open to ideas,
Miss Z

worm hole to the truth of my existence

Ever have a reacurring dream? I only have 4 that I can remember; the one where I miss the bus, show up to school half naked and have to go potty in a bathroom stall with 3 ft high walls, then there's the one about the red house/barn on the country road (that's all I remember bout that one) then one where I'm living in a house and suddenly discover it has secret rooms and whole living spaces I hadn't known about.. then there's the one I had last night.
When I'm in the dream I realize I've had it before, but by the time I wake up I forget it and don't realize it's recurring until the next time i'm dreaming it, but when I wake up I forget about it again... This ever happen to anyone else? Anyway, I woke up this morning remembering and was astonished. In the dream I embark on a secret passageway. This changes (much like the house with the secret rooms) it could be indoors one time I dream it and outdoors in the woods another time, but all the same it's a secret path and I'm traveling it for the same reason. Every time it seems like a long journey, and it feels like one I don't make very often because I have to think about "ok go through this door, turn here" etc. I remember the way half by landmarks and half by instinct. For instance, last night I was traveling indoors, and I had to move a refrigerator to get through one of the doors I needed to pass through. I was in some random persons house moving their refrigerator to get through a secret door and they weren't very pleased I had to make haste because they were yelling at me. It's always like that; a little risky, a little frightening and takes several hours to reach my destination, on foot.
When I reach where I'm going, it never seems very climactic and usually I just turn around and head back! Never really discovering any reason for going in the first place, I just seem to be compelled to make this journey. Often I'm showing someone else the way (I'm alone only about half the times I dream it) but end up having no real purpose in showing them it's just like "Ok we're here", then we go back.
Well last night, I got to the end of the passageway, with my companion, and stopped to look around. I found myself in a room filled with lost objects from my childhood. Things I remember my mother, grandmother or great grandmother having in their homes when I was small. It seemed literally like a consignment shop, or maybe a storage unit, filled with the earliest memories from my childhood. It suddenly occurred to me why I had come; I was there to take things I needed for my new apartment. I had the sense I was starting over from scratch and had nothing. I was going to take some long lost relics from the past and put them back into use. I browsed the room picking out items I wanted, with total confidence in my right to these things and feeling an overwhelming sense of nostalgia and a calming comfort in these objects; like sitting in the warm lap of my great grandmother as she rocked me and sang me a lullaby. I felt at total peace with my past, like all was right and I ended up right where I belonged.
That's the best I can describe it. One of those dreams you hope you have again. Feels like I'm on the brink of discovering something really deep and revealing about myself lately; some missing piece that will make everything clear.... help me to unlock my true potential, my purpose. Dunno if any one else ever thinks bout stuff like this... may sound like the ramblings of a schizophrenic :p

Abyss diving enigma pondering,
Miss Z

Parenting Breakthrough

It's been slow progress launching my eldest into adulthood. I was so different from her; in such a rush to grow up when I was younger. When I became pregnant my mother completely handed me the ball, and I'll forever thank her for that. At the same time, I grew up with financial anxiety; between a struggling single mother and the influence of a great grandmother who lived like she was still surviving the great depression, my money was always on my mind. I vowed never to let my children feel like I may not be able to provide them with everything they needed and almost anything they wanted. So now as the parent of a teenager, I find myself caught between these two objectives; wanting to teach my daughter responsibility and how to fend for herself, but not wanting her to feel that she's totally on her own and that I can still care for her. This has been an ongoing battle over the last couple years.

I gave myself a little pat on the back when I finally got her to get her drivers license, but since then getting her to find a part time job has been the new hurdle. She said she was too busy with school and field hockey last year, then she quit field hockey and said school alone was just too hard and she'd wait till the summer then when the summer came she said she couldn't really commit to anything because she had all these plans throughout the summer (going to Block Island with her boyfriend, etc). So here we are, end of August and school about to start again and she's still making excuses. I gave her money for back to school shopping because afterall she's still in high school, living with me, I'm responsible for her and I would have felt guilty if I said "no". Then she worked at my mothers restaurant a few days the following week, made a decent weeks pay (for a teenager) went to the mall and bought herself more new stuff and even a birthday gift for her friend! I didn't say anything but made a promise to myself that I wouldn't be giving anymore handouts until Christmas.

So a few days ago she mentioned her friends were going out to dinner and invited her, but she had no money, could she borrow some.  I pointed out that she had money a week ago and spent it and still owed me for half the price of the pricey sneakers I bought her. She squirmed and looked away in discomfort of being confronted with her financial irresponsibility. I knew that she knew that I knew, and she knew too.... I confidently said, "Sorry Charlie, no can do", and walked away, end of convo. What did I encounter an hour later? Her sitting at the table circling ads in the Help Wanted section! She returned some expensive make-up she had bought so she had the money to go out to dinner with her friends, then the next day, went down to Leo's and applied for a waitress position! :D

Whats the moral of the story here guys? Balance of course! Parenting is a careful balancing act between your deep love for your child (be aware, some of that may be guilt your still dealing with from your childhood) and the duty to raise them to be a responsible and contributing member of society. I sighed a deep breath of relief this week that I seem to be keeping it in balance.
Loving life, keeping it real,
Mzzz Z

Grad School Application Essay

OK, I think this is MUCH better than my original, highly autobiographical and a bit TMI on some pretty personal stuff. Again, feedback is appreciated :)

.My name is Erin Zaffis and I’m applying to the Integrated Health and Healing program. Having worked as a registered nurse for the last 12 years, added to a life-long interest in environmental issues, has caused me to feel that in the very near future health care will become highly focused on health promotion, disease prevention and natural alternatives to the current expensive and often toxic therapies. I will explain why I firmly believe this, but first, I’d like to give you a little history about myself; the story of how I got to where I am today is an interesting one. I’ll attempt to keep it short and pertinent.

     People have always told me I have a creative mind. If that’s true, and I think it is, I would deny that this is solely the work of genetics and point to my upbringing; five key years of which were spent in Northern California. It was my sister, my (single) mother and I living in a coastal town about 50-plus miles north of San Francisco. We were far away and secluded from any highways, malls, theme parks, Chuck E. Cheese’s and most other trademarks of modern American culture. My eyes and my heart absorbed the beauty and diversity of this place; ocean, sand, tide pools full of cold water marine life, rocky cliffs topped with hardy grass and native succulents, foggy mornings, redwood forests and colorful townspeople with contrasting lifestyles and views. I had an insatiable curiosity which turned the one acre forest in our back yard into my personal school and laboratory. Once I discovered the freedom that learning how to ride on two wheels brought me, the small town became my very own Disney World. I explored every corner of it finding new secrets, treasures and pleasures. Did I mention we had no television? I’m forever grateful that for those years my mother and nature were my greatest teachers rather than numerous American advertising executives. I became a doer and an independent thinker. I’m still not sure exactly what switch flipped when we moved back to New England. We returned to our quiet farm town to find it quickly transforming into a wealthy suburb. I suppose this culture shock introduced at a vulnerable time in my life (early teens) caused me to feel a bit lost. At 15 I met a boy and “fell in love”. Before I was able to develop the vision of the adult I wanted to become, I threw my whole identity into who I would become with this person. It was no surprise I was pregnant at 16 and a mother by 17.

Within the first year after my daughter was born I came to the realization that in order to adequately support her I would need a college education. My high school guidance counselor pointed me in the direction of nursing, with its boasts of a growing job market, flexibility and good pay. I enjoyed people and excelled in science, so logically it seemed like a good fit. I also had a personal interest in childbirth; the birth of my daughter was somewhat traumatic and left me feeling abused by the health care system. I saw an opportunity, as a maternity nurse, to create positive change. I’m not sure what my drive and tenacity can be attributed to; I suppose that’s where genetics comes into play. Statistically it is unlikely that teenage mothers will attain their college degree, and yet after 4 years (and a summer) I had earned my Bachelor’s in Nursing, graduating with honors. By this time my daughter was ready to start kindergarten and her father and I had gotten married.

I struggled with my new career as a nurse. I didn’t feel I fit in with the hardened and cynical women who ruled the hospital floors and I also didn’t feel I was helping any of my patients with their countless prescribed medications and expensive diagnostic tests; few of them ever seemed to get better. Their hopeless conditions mirrored my hopelessness for a comfortable niche in the profession I had chosen. Just as I was ready to give up on nursing, I landed the job I had desired, on the maternity floor. My new role as health promoter and educator suited me much better, but I found myself frustrated with the maternity care system, which I began to see as wasteful, borderline barbaric, and very reluctant to change.

Everything started to turn around after the birth of my second daughter; when I was offered a position at the natural birthing center adjacent to the maternity floor (where I had birthed her). Finally I was doing something I truly believed in; assisting with births that were treated as a beautiful, spiritual, natural female rite of passage and not as a surgical procedure. I started reading up on midwifery and natural childbirth. I took over teaching classes that the midwives previously taught and reorganized the birthing and supplies rooms to make our work easier. Within 4 years I went from a per diem position, to the (only) full time on-call position, to manager of the small unit. I also became a La Leche League Leader after the birth of my third daughter. I was taking on more of a leadership role and slowly gaining confidence in my abilities as a nurse, collaborator and educator. As I was building my career and my confidence grew, so did the widening rift between my spouse and I. I decided to file for divorce in early 2009; I still revere this as the hardest decision of my life. By that August I was moved out on my own, with my 3 girls now ages 15, 7 and 3.

At 32 years old, this was my first time ever living on my own; truly independent and not accountable to any other adult. I embraced the freedom like a prisoner released after half a lifetime. The world was suddenly all new to me and wide open calling for me to taste of all that I had missed out on. It was like the 32 year old me went back in time, took the 15 year olds hand and said, “Ok now, we’ve been stalling for too many years, it’s time to find out who we really are.” Today I am humored to find myself gone full circle, right in the place I feel I started; a curious and experimental child of the earth, finding great inspiration in nature and learning great respect for it. I’ve taken another look at my roots; what I was taught when I lived in Northern California from the many conservationists (aka, “tree huggers”) who resided there. Looking at the world from an environmental standpoint has given me a very different perspective. I see humans living in total disconnect from their planet, as if they’ve been transported to another (Hollywood) dimension where life endlessly endures no matter what; there is no cause and effect, no consequences. I see a world where instant gratification has led to perpetual dissatisfaction and the never ending pursuit of happiness through the acquisition of things. I would love to be a catalyst for change; to help people break out of this cycle of consumption, debt, sickness, sadness and more consumption.

I took a weekend seminar in March of this year on “Transition Initiative”, a movement that began in England and is now spreading to all industrialized civilizations across the globe. “Transition” is a movement based on the reality of growing populations and higher standards of living coupled with limited resources. It takes a serious look at how we might face the challenges of the future, having spent the last 50 years in denial of our confinement on this one planet. I have decided to have hope for the human race; believing we can drastically change our thinking and find a way to pull together and create a future that is actually better than the current state of affairs. Concerning health care, as we move towards sustainable communities it is reasonable to believe people may naturally be healthier; consuming less processed foods. For what conditions still linger, we will have to develop new, less energy consumptive methods of treatment. It is exciting when I think of how we might combine effective ancient health care practices with the knowledge we’ve gained through years of medical research that industrialization has afforded us.  I also came to the realization that in the future people will most likely be living closer to each other, as transportation becomes more expensive. Mental health care will become very important in newly compacted communities. So, as you can see, it seems logical that health care will naturally trend towards a more holistic approach.

I consider myself lucky that I am able to identify, accept, and (hopefully) embrace the drastic changes we face over the next 20 years, but I realize I am the minority. I have given much thought to how the majority might be gently guided towards necessary changes in their attitudes and lifestyles. I have decided to lean towards health promotion, which is already gaining popularity, taking the stance that personal health and the environment are two matters that really cannot be removed from one another. I am working on an idea to combine my two passions by inspiring people to take up bicycling, which naturally merges needed exercise with sustainable transportation. Like other activities I enjoyed in my youth (nature, art, music) I have taken up cycling again and have developed a real passion for it. City people are comfortable on 2 wheels but I’m discovering suburban folks are not and I’d like to start locally by offering beginner classes in cycling. I am collaborating with a local bike shop owner to offer these classes starting in the spring. I've also started a blog (thegreenbikeblog.blogspot.com) and have a website in the works. I’d really like to see where this could go.

In conclusion, I see my education through The Graduate Institute helping me in any direction I choose to take; as a continuing member of a health care team or as an entrepreneur. In either event, my ultimate goal in life has always been to be a positive influence; on the lives of individuals, on the world as a whole, and probably most importantly, as a role model for my three amazing daughters.

The Green Bike Blog: This blog is under construction!

The Green Bike Blog: This blog is under construction!: "Still working on it folks. Many ideas came and went in the course of 24 hours, hope to have it all sorted out by the end of the week and st..."

Seasonal "Meatless Monday"

RECIPE ALERT
But as you know you are rarely going to get a broken down, step by step recipe from me.  I don't really use them either, and when I create in the kitchen and it comes out good I have to sit there thinking "what the heck did I put in this?"  This particular time, the meal was half eaten before I realized it was so good I should blog about it! So, sorry this isn't the best pic:

What is it, you ask? A concoction of veggies we got from our garden! Spaghetti squash and zucchini roasted in the oven then shredded. Topped that off with cauliflower, broccoli and kale sauteed with olive oil and garlic, mixed up with a few Tbsp raw pesto I had made a few days ago (basil, olive oil, garlic, raw cashews, raw pine nuts, lemon juice).  Sliced up some sun dried tomatoes and threw those on there along with some sea salt and some mock Parmesan cheese (raw cashews, garlic, sea salt processed to a grated Parmesan consistency- so easy and great way to make a vegan cheese topping!).  Cory used regular Parmesan cheese and insisted that was better, and also convinced me to put a few dashes of hot sauce on there- he puts hot sauce on almost everything, but yeah it was good.

they paved paradise......

I want to start off by saying I'm extremely thankful that I got to go on a vacation to Florida for the second year in a row. Getting out of town and having new experiences is good for me and my kids, my grandparents are great, I love Florida beaches....
However, my vacation this year was a bit overshadowed by 2 things:
1. Apprehension about leaving my kids with my grandparents in FL and not seeing them for 2 weeks (which was kinda the point of the vacation in the first place- my grandmothers idea) and
2. Uneasy feeling about the sights I saw as I once again made this 1200 mile road trip down the east coast of our country.

I decided to write a little poem to express how I feel.... here goes.

Super Target, Waffle House, Lowe's.
IHop, Walmart and Home Depot's
Next exit, take your pick
Sports Authority or Dicks
$49 per night, mini fridge, indoor pool
Try a "Coconut Frappuccino" to keep you cool
Cement, concrete, billboards so tall
Gas stations, Cracker Barrel's, countless strip-malls

We keep you running, we're what you need
Your need to belong is what we feed.
Cookie cutter, bread and butter, you've had us before, why trust another?
Come mobs of zombies, come herds of sheep
Just try some Ambien to help you sleep
Rest your head, and forget the memories
Of purple mountains majesties
Of spacious skies, for amber waves of grain
Is there even such thing anymore as a fruited plain?
Since the mighty corporation did decree
This jungle of asphalt and edifice
From sea to shining sea

Jaded,
Miss Z

Thinking Outloud; Defining the Vision

Been battling some career indecision lately.  I knew half way through nursing school that I wasn't meant to be a nurse, and it's only been confirmed to me again and again since then.  I lucked out big time with my current job which has kept me in the nursing field, against all odds, for the last 8 years.  But my luck slowly started running out when they sacrificed our CABC (Commission for the Accreditation of Birthing Centers) accreditation 5 years ago due to budget cuts.  Now every year I feel closer and closer to the hospital floor; I've had to incorporate more and more of their policies and procedures in my work at the Birthplace, which is really starting to ruin the whole happy hippie family vibe which I loved so much. I feel in my gut that my time there will be coming to an end, probably sometime in the next year or two....

So what next? I feel like I have this one precious year to figure out the answer to this question; all my kids will be in school full days and I will continue to be on-call for the birthplace, but that usually means I'll just be... home.  I will NOT be eating bon-bons, getting hooked on daytime soaps or playing farmville.  I will be directing my energies towards embarking on the next phase of my purpose... whatever that is :-/ 

I know this: I am a teacher.  But what will I be teaching? And will I be able to earn enough to maintain my humble, yet comfortable, lifestyle? I feel somewhat ashamed to admit; I've NEVER worked a 40 hr/week job.  This is most definitely because I've had kids since I was old enough to have a job, but also because I haven't yet found something I could bear doing for 40 hours/week.  Some (most?) people accept work as work, earn their money and use it to make the best of their weekends and vacation time.  I can't do this.  I've known for a long time that I was meant for something significant....... "Significant" is the only way I can describe it, and I suppose that is almost an entirely subjective term, haha.

Think I may go back to school in the fall.  Going to attend an open house at The Graduate Institute next month.  They have Masters Degree programs in "emerging fields of study", such as, "Learning and Thinking" and "Conscious Evolution" (yes, you can get a masters degree in that!!).  I figure if i want to be the sort of teacher that works for someone else (a school) all I need is a masters degree, any masters degree, to do that, wha-la! And if I decide to start my own business, it would be this kind of self actualization and exploration that might help me to do that......

Feedback?
Sorry this may be boring to all but 2 or 3 of my friends! Help, good friends, help!
Miss Z

More Garden Progress

Sorry some of you may be bored with this by now and even still more of you may even be thinking, "Seriously? It's just a dumb garden." But if you are thinking the latter I'm surprised you're reading my blog at all, get a life!

But seriously, I'm documenting this not only for anyone who is as passionate about fresh veggies as I am but also as sort of a farmers log, a diary, of what did well and what didn't so I can have some reference point for next year.  LOTS of rain alternating with hot sun would seem to be a recipe for garden success and for the most part it has been.  Only crops not doing well are the peppers. Other people's are doing well, idk what I'm doing wrong. Stopped at a roadside farm stand on Saturday and struck up a conversation with the owner about what is doing well and what's not (as I've been doing everywhere and with anyone I meet who I know gardens).  He said it's been pretty wet for peppers, so maybe that's the problem.

Everything else is doing stellar though; even the eggplants which started out looking not too promising are now bursting with buds that will hopefully soon birth beautiful, shiny, spongy fruits! :D Summer squash, cucumbers, peas, beans all producing amazingly and don't get me started on the tomatoes... they aren't even ripe yet and I already checked out a book on canning from the library, we're gonna have a shit load! We even planted some potatoes, late but we should have them by end of summer. Other root veggies came out tastey but small-ish, which I wasn't too surprised about for some reason, gotta research better before planting next year. Now for the pictures.....

Here is the main garden (there are a few smaller ones spread around the property as well).  Sorry for the angled view :P

This morning's harvest: cucumbers and summer squash (and some green beans hidden underneath)

Remember the squash I found growing out of our compost bin? It's a butternut! Isn't it cuuuuute?! :D

We planted a few watermelons under the bird feeder (thought it would look pretty) and they are doing well along with some sunflowers that sprouted up from the bird seed!!

Winter squash patch.  Look at that pumpkin! Bippity, boppity, boo!

I just love how the viney veggies grab on to stuff with their little springy fingers :D This is a cucumber with big dreams; it's already outgrown the fence and this 5 ft pole we gave it.

That's all for now folks or kids will be late for their bus to camp!

 TTFN, MizzZ

I'm too old for this shit! And I'm too young for this shit!!

Amusing story which exemplifies the complexity of my life.....

Have a couple months off from my night job.  Since January this job has totally put the kibosh on my social life since every weekday evening that I don't have my kids and could go somewhere I have been working.  Their dad has enjoyed the extra time with them and requested it not change too much over the summer so I'll have Thursday nights free for a couple months, which will be nice. 

So about a week ago a friend tells me there is a meeting/get together for the CT chapter of NORML (National Organization to Reform Marijuana Laws).  I thought this seemed like a fun way to kick off my summer Thursdays; learn more about the cause and meet some interesting people/make new social connections.  It was being held at a bar in New Haven I've been to once and really liked, wouldn't mind going back, not to mention you gotta figure someone there would have REALLY good herb they're willing to share, right? Not so much.  It was more of a meeting for people who are serious about becoming political activists for the legalization of marijuana in CT. While I do take a personal interest in this (have signed all the petitions circulating the internet, sent letters to my state rep's etc), I was attending more for a social experience since my ability to do any more than I already have is limited. 

Why, you ask? Because I have a 17 year old daughter who, because of where I was at in my life mentally/emotionally/spiritually, I raised in accordance with strict Judao/Christian family values.  So; monogamy, abstinence until marriage (ideally), abiding by the laws of the land, mind altering substances are dangerous and un-Godly, etc. This is not how I was raised, but I hit my early teens and all this guilt and fear emerged. I was looking for answers or someone to reassure me that I'm OK and I'll be allright.  I'm on the slow road to recovery as I've started to become reacquainted with who I am at my core and learning to accept and embrace that.  I realize now that there are some things I can control and I should exercise what powers I have, while staying balanced, and the rest is up to chance; I can't spend my time worrying or praying about it. I just hope I can roll with the punches and learn something.  But back then I was just teaching her what I thought "good" "Christian" parents were supposed to teach their kids. Apparently she took all of my lectures to heart, who knew! Guess I should feel honored that she really does respect me that much, but now what do I do?!  Tell her I was wrong? I've tried to explain the changes that I'm going through to her and why I feel differently about a lot of things now but she hasn't been receptive, at all. I can imagine it makes her feel a bit insecure that "Mom" is changing. I'm supposed to be her rock and by definition that means steadfast and predictable.  I'm sorry that my mid-life crisis is happening at the same time as your identity crisis Justine!!
 
So anyway, the fact that my boyfriend and I enjoy the devils lettuce on a regular basis is something I've felt the need to keep hidden from my daughter... it's not easy.  We have code names and phrases and we exclusively do it in the garden shed which is like our adult clubhouse the kids are not allowed in (pad locked).  As I awkwardly try to mingle with the crowd at the NORML meeting, I only succeed in giving this long winded apologetic speech to this unusually tall and very intelligent man about how I wish I could do more but I have this teenage daughter... blah blah.  I don't think he understood my plight.  The three of us decided to leave, go back to my house and "visit the shed".  Justine had txt me an hour earlier asking me when I'd be home, so I assumed she must be home alone and bored.  She could (should) go to her dad's for the night with her sisters when they go but often chooses to stay home. It was 10:30, we snuck around the back of the house to the shed, being especially quiet as we passed her bedroom window.  We enjoyed a puff, had some deep conversation, then decided it was time for bed. 

It's wicked hot and humid, we debate over putting the air conditioner in but end up deciding we're too stoned and the unit is too damn heavy; we'll just sleep naked and do it tomorrow. We turn all the lights off, lock all the doors. Cory says he's going to brush his teeth. Less than a minute later I hear a sound at the back door off the kitchen, "what is he doing out there?"  I walk into the kitchen in my underwear, topless (no one else is there except Justine and I figure she's sleeping, she's the only one with an air conditioner as of yet), and turn on the kitchen light.  I hear Justine's voice say, "Aaahhh, MOOOOM, NOOOO!" It's her and her boyfriend trying to unlock the back door in the dark. They were almost in when I turned on the light and gave them an eye full.  Apparently she WAS NOT home.  I usually check her room before I go to bed every night, just to peek in and say goodnight.  I failed this night.  Was it because I was under the influence? Great, I'm a drugged, neglectful mom and now I'm prancing around naked in front of my kids (boy)friends.  Cory comes out of the bathroom in his underwear and realizes what happened, "We weren't doing anything Justine, we were just getting ready for bed!"  Thanks Cory, even if we did get caught in the act I don't think we need to blurt out a quick excuse; we're the parents she's the kid, remember? Sometimes it's hard to tell around here....

Sorry Justine, I'll cover you're future therapy expenses.

Rolling with the punches,
Miss Z

Turn off the Noise

I came to the conclusion a couple months ago that I am spread to thin.  I have been unable to keep up with all the obligations I'm committed to at the moment and feel I'm losing my grip on all of them.  Since then I've been debating over the best way to tackle this problem.  Something has to go on the chopping block, but what? For starters I found a valid excuse to take a term off from my teaching job, so that will free up some energy for a few months (a few key months since my kids will be home and my brain will be tired just on account of that!). 

But I worry this won't be enough.  I have found myself becoming very forgetful and easily distracted lately; forgetting appointments, where I put things, constantly walking back to a room I was just in to get something I should have grabbed while I was there.... ya know.  I concluded a few days ago that if there was a concrete solution to this problem I would buy it/do it.  If I could increase my brain function (significantly) by eliminating dairy or simple sugars or taking some supplement, I would do it! I can't express my feeling of desperation over this lately; I'm just way too busy for my brain to be shorting out on me like this all the time.  I was on the verge of making a doctors appointment yesterday (or maybe calling a naturopath) when later in the day I noticed I seemed to be having a 6 hour streak of clarity.  I was at work and for some reason it seemed effortless.  The tasks I usually find tedious I accomplished easily and quickly, without much physical or mental exertion, and I was finished and out the door exactly when I intended to be. I starting examining this freak occurrence as I walked out of the hospital.  So here comes my grand revelation.....

I realized I hadn't thought about myself for a number of hours.  I hadn't worried about how I looked, what I was eating, what someone thought about me, if I forgot something or screwed up somehow, second guessing myself, etc.  I hadn't put any criticism on myself all night! Don't ask me how this occurred, I really don't know.  Maybe my ego just plain got tired and took a nap for a while.  I realized maybe, just maybe, it was this constant self criticism, this constant self absorption, that creates a distracting noise in my brain.  A constant distracting (and often discouraging), nagging, voice. No, i'm not schizophrenic, but I apparently still need to see my therapist on a regular basis.  I can't say I've had such luck today, I'm not sure how to recreate the conditions that cause something in my brain to just snap like that, to turn off the noise.  Welp, calling my therapist for an appointment tomorrow.  I may still call the naturopath too, my insurance covers it so why not :)

Content to say I'm still figuring it all out, hope you are too,

Miss Z

Garden (mini-farm) Update

Learning the ways of things that grow from the ground, and loving it!  One concept I discovered, very simple: the leaves absorb the energy from the sun and the roots absorb the nutrients from the soil..... so if bugs eat the leaves no matter how good the roots are the plant dies.  Thankfully we've only had a slight bug problem but I'm gonna nip that in the bud; seeing a LOT of spiders and leaving them be hoping they'll eat whatever's eating my leaves and also ordering lady bugs, supposably they help control the aphids....  
So here are the pics I took this morning:

"Herb Spiral", got the idea from a really cool book, "Self Sufficiency for the 21st Century" (in my Amazon store!). Awesome book with a lot of good pictures and step by step instructions with photos for the ADD and time constrained momma.  My herbs are doing great, made Cory and I a delicious salad last night: Green leaf lettuce, red bell peppers, cucumbers, pickled leeks, red onions, both varieties of basil you see here (green and purple), cilantro, mint and parsley all tossed up with some Thai curry and brown sugar grilled shrimp and my Vietnamese dressing :P soooo good.

Some wild green onions growing right by, under the deck.  Should have put these in my salad! Gotta pick them today.

Sugar snap peas, first garden baby's born!

Lettuce bed, started from seed.  Can't quite figure out yet why the one in the lower left corner isn't growing as well :-/

Cory's tomatoes.  He's so proud :) I think these were started from seed. What's great is at this point we have no idea what varieties we planted and where; we started most from seed, 4 different varieties, some died and we replanted with stuff we bought or got from friends.... will be a total surprise when they begin to bear fruit.

Growing food anywhere we have space, why not?! Strawberries and marigolds on top, herbs second level and lettuce in the bottom.  This is just a "Stack-a-Pot" I bought at Kmart to put on the deck.  Soon to come, an experiment involving corn stalks, pole beans and winter squash planted together alternating with sunflowers, to border/grow up the side of the deck..... my friend http://applenamos.blogspot.com/ came up with this idea, hope it works if it does it will be beautiful and edible! Never would have thought I could go from killing houseplants one year to growing a huge ass garden the next... just goes to show you, with the right motivation you can do anything :)

Weather here in South-mid-west CT is gorgeous, let the sun warm your soul, have the best day ever,

<3 Miss Z

It's the end of the world as we know it..

I bet in other parts of the world they are not giving a second thought to this whole judgment day claim.  No third world citizen can be bothered entertaining these ideas, they have too much work to do, to much reality to contend with.  Westernized civilization and specifically America, are the only places where people horrify, or amuse, their psyche thinking about catastrophic tragic events. It's all Hollywood to us though, as our government (funded by large corporations) here provides us with this protective bubble; doing anything it needs to to make it's citizens feel secure and sleep well at night, wake up the next day and buy your Dunkin Donuts on your way to work, "don't worry, we've got it under control".  In reality, we are the Disney World of the world, because the truth is no one has it all under control, but we're having so much fun and it's been like that for so long that we just don't see it; the fantasy has become our reality. 

I'd like to point out this morning that while we are not going to be smote by the Lord Almighty, we are not immune to retribution, and we do NOT have it all under control, it's actually quite the opposite.  We've given corporations control over our lives, we depend on their products and services to survive and to provide us with those products and services they have done nothing short of rape and pillage this planet and it's more peaceful inhabitants.  I'm here to say, "Repent, and change your ways!" not because some mythical, man-imagined figure will punish us if we don't, this is not a Hollywood movie people!

There is a balance to everything that is living and the earth itself is no exception.  You can drink a little too much Saturday night, throw up, have a hangover the next day, and recover enough to go to work Monday morning.  If you are healthy your body can handle the assault.  But if you do this 5 days per week for 20 years you will make your body unhealthy and you will develop a disease that you will die from.  This is what our modern lifestyle is doing to the earth.  We have become a disease and the earth will do it's best to maintain it's homeostasis, just as our bodies do, just as every living thing does.  You can't ignore the signs; the scientists have been shouting it, and now the weather is starting to prove it.  It's not so much "judgment", just simple cause and effect that no spiritual being has control over. 

This spring/summer I encourage you; skip the blockbuster movie and stay home from church.  If there is a God at all, it is surely the planet we live on. Plant a garden and watch how it grows, or dies. Go for a nature hike, look around you, look at the ground, examine a flower, a bug, put your bare hands and toes in the dirt and reconnect yourself with the life force that sustains you.  If you have children you know what it's like to have created life, and there is nothing you love more than that little life you created.  And you have made big changes in your life for the benefit of that child and it may have been difficult but you did it and it was worth it.  If you learn to love LIFE, life itself, you will learn to love the earth which sustains it.  And if you learn to LOVE the earth you will find that the changes you need to make to act in love towards it are difficult at first, but in the end you CAN do it, and it's worth it.

And that is my best try at gentle inspiration folks.  The harsh truth is we're all fucked if we don't make a huge effort to fix this shit, and it's goin down a whole lot sooner than Mickey Mouse, Kim Kardashian or Obama are ever gonna tell you on the TV so turn that shit off and wake the fuck up!

Happy Spring everyone!
Miss Z

Filling the Void

Experienced a moment of self awareness today... thought I would share.

La Leche League meeting this morning.  A woman came who I had spoken with on the phone a couple times about some problems she was having, but this was the first month she was able to make it to a meeting.  She right away thanked me for the advice I had given her and expressed how excited she was to finally be meeting me because I had helped her so much.  I realized how true it is what those psychology studies I've read about say; what makes people truly happy is healthy relationships and helping others.  Even though I'm not breastfeeding anymore, this is the reason I continue to volunteer my time to help women who are.  It was only a few years ago that I remember my husband becoming disgruntled over my getting involved in LLL.  He said it was "taking time away from the family".  I think what he felt threatened by was the realization that I could think and do things that didn't have to do with him; I was asserting my own identity, separate from him. 

At remembering this I had a sudden rush of pride over what I've accomplished in the last few years... and over my entire life so far.  I also felt a great sense of satisfaction with the life I'm living right now.  As crazy as it is sometimes, I'm living the life I want. 

I saw myself just a year ago, on the dating scene.  I felt driven to date, partly because I had never gotten to do that (I met my husband when I was only 15) and partly because I felt this gaping void of not having someone to reflect off of and form my identity by.  See, pouring my soul into a long term relationship at only 15 caused me to quite literally become a "girl interrupted".  Not to mention taking on the identity of "mom" at only 17.  I realized most of my identity was wrapped up in him, even my belief system (THAT was a toughy, and the subject of a whole other, much longer blog).  So, after the divorce I felt completely.... lost.  I searched for someone to tell me who this new person was, so I could put the pieces back together in some way that made sense.


I could have not found anyone, interestingly enough I found a younger man, who doesn't tell me who to be and our relationship makes me feel free to explore that without judgment.  It's like God knew what I needed, but seeing I was hell bent on doing it my way gave me someone who would not interfere with His work in me.  ("God" and "His" only representing the existence of some divine order in the universe, not necessarily the God of the Bible... just to clarify).  So now i'm filling that void with.... myself.  Whatever I want to be, whatever I want to do... I can.  Just a simple change in mindset has opened up so many possibilities to me, and yet i'm the exact same person! 

As I hear my 17 yr old daughter arguing on the phone with her boyfriend in the next room I'm saddened that she seems to be making the same mistake.  And then I again realize, there is no right answer; wherever you find yourself is good and has a purpose.  She'll figure it out.  I can only keep living true to myself and hope that I'm being a good example, although I'm prepared for her not to admit it for another several years ;)

ttfn,
Miss Z

Limitlessy

Soooo, went to the movies this past weekend which is something I LOVE to do and haven't done in a good 6 months.  Saw that movie "Limitless", with Bradley Cooper (yum-yum).  The plot was basically the early development of a drug that allows people to access the parts of our brains we are seemingly unable to utilize on a regular basis, and how it changes the life of one man who takes it.  So, super concentration, memory, thought clarity, etc.  Great movie, very entertaining and thought provoking too.  And what it provoked me to think was: what if a woman took this drug??

It was no surprise to me that they picked a man as the main character of this movie.  He had a grand time (SPOILER ALERT) impressing women and then sleeping with them, conquering the stock market and eventually running for president.  So think about if the main character was a woman.  What would she do with her super brain power?  Hard to think, right? I know what I personally would do, but have a hard time imagining I would, in reality, get as far as super smart and super handsome Bradley Cooper did in this movie.  I don't think people would be as impressed.  Society just does not appreciate a super smart woman! Women who are super beautiful, super mothers/nurturers, super organized, super supportive (to men and children).... all revered female traits.  I would even guess most people appreciate a woman that can super kick ass, but a woman with a super ability to THINK, and possibly change the world... not so much.

I fucking hate that.... really discouraging.

Athe-I-sm

Started reading this yesterday in prep for a training seminar I am taking this weekend:

http://transitionus.org/sites/default/files/TransitionHandbook_freeeditVersion.pdf

Very intelligent, good food for thought... deep (and sometimes scary) thought about the future of humankind.  This quote struck me:

"Healthy functioning requires that we have faith that our needs will be met in the future; without this confidence, our trust in the world is damaged.  Damaged trust can lead to four neurotic reactions that are likely to impact environmental behavior: narcissism, depression, paranoia and compulsion"

There is no bibliography in the Appendices (?), only states that this was quoted by "Winter and Kroger", seemingly from a journal of psychology.  This sums up in a nutshell recent thoughts I've been having about what it is I personally believe in.  If you believe in nothing but yourself and what your eyes see around you, then you admit that the future is entirely uncertain and therefore unsafe; you have only yourself and your abilities to rely on and you will go ONLY as far as that will take you.  I admitted to myself that this may, in fact, be true.  But if I choose to believe this way I give up all sense of hope; because I myself have finite abilities... and frankly I'm not all that talented and of limited education.  I HAVE to believe that by my good intention, determination and belief in a cosmic/spiritual order to life and the universe, my needs (and my childrens') will be met tomorrow, and it will be a good day. I have to, or else there is really no point in exsisting at all....
So now i'm kinda interested to have convo with an atheist about this point..... anyone?
Ok back to reading, I have 99 more pages to read before Saturday!!

MizzZ :)

Do it yo-self

A phrase that about a year ago made me feel a bit inadequate but recently making me feel... unstoppable!  If you've thought about embarking on a do-it-yourself project my advice would be to NOT OVER THINK IT.  Start collecting what you need to do it.... and just DO IT! Be careful not to sink too much money into it, though, understanding that do-it-yourself projects can fail.  Do it for fun and a feeling of accomplishment instead of out of necessity and you will feel you've learned something, no matter what the outcome. Maybe you can try again once you've gotten your feet wet! 

I decided I would start making some of my own personal care/hygiene and cleaning products once the ones i had in my cabinets started running out.  First on the list: soap.  I ordered what I needed, watched a youtube video and decided to start with a small test batch, so I wouldn't waist the money I spent on supplies if I screwed it up.  What I learned: making soap is quick and easy! Why would anyone buy it at the store when you can make yourself a 1 year supply with about $20 in ingredients and a half an hour of your time?!  Next: deodorant.  Sounds weird, but I found a recipe on-line (from a fellow blogger), this one is simple so I'll share it here:

1/4 cup baking soda
1/4 cup corn starch
6 Tbsp melted coconut oil
5-6 drops tea tree (and/or lavender, rosemary, peppermint, or whatever other oil you like)

whisk baking soda and corn starch to get out any lumps, mix with oils.... done! I tried pouring it into my empty deodorant thingy, just turned the dial backwards till it was hollow again and poured my mixture in. Put it in the fridge and it solidified but tried to turn it up too soon and it was still too hard, think I broke the mechanism that makes the deodorant come up :(  but the deodorant itself turned out great!! I managed to get some on; goes on smooth, clear, absorbs quick, keeping me dry and my pits smell great!!

So, the moral of the story is; don't put those projects you thought about doing on the back burner, put aside a little time and just do it!

Manidestiny

I made and exciting discovery a few days ago that i'm still gushing over.....

This is the palm tree looking thing I bought when I first moved into this apartment.  Now, let me explain that I have ALWAYS been a complete failure at keeping any sort of houseplant alive; I can't tell you exactly why, but I think it had to do with my complete disconnect (partly due to disinterest) with the entire plant kingdom.  I would over water, under water, never provide the right amount of light... etc, and always end up with a dead plant.  Knowing this, I bought this tree anyway, and hoped to at least keep it alive, because this spot in the kitchen looked really empty.  I was extremely proud of myself when a year passed and I had managed to keep it alive.  I was even more proud of myself when I was able to cultivate a (very humble) small garden this past summer.
But it wasn't till recently, when I became enlightened on the current state of affairs in this world, that I realized the ability to grow things, specifically to grow your own food for self sustainability, is soon going to be what separates the secure from the desperate (that and money and power, both of which are most commonly attained at someone elses expense... more on that another time).  I set a course for achieving some level of self sustainability, a level higher than most Americans but not expecting to become a farmer overnight......

 Fast forward just a couple short months:

This is just a couple examples of what I have growing now, these are veggies (top) and herbs (bottom).  My compost project, while it won't yield quite enough to fertilize my entire garden, has been a success; 2 large bins full, worms eating away and holding steady at only one bag of garbage per week.  What's even better is I started using the compost "tea" from the bokashi bin to water the household plants (I now have 4 total) and you wouldn't believe how much they've grown and are sprouting new growth!
Now, back to my discovery.  I added a bit of the compost from one of the worm bins to my palm tree.....

What is THIS?!!  It's like as soon as I deemed it a life or death matter, and approached plant growing with survival instinct, I became frickin mother nature!  I spent some deep thought on that.... trying to pinpoint the exact feeling, the thought, the brain cell, that manifested these results... it's "The Secret", which even after having read the book remained a secret to me.  But, I think I may have just used it; I truly believe I am willing these plants to thrive. I haven't really learned anything about how to make things grow in the last couple months, it's only my attitude that has changed..... "Food for thought" ;)
TTFN

best of both worlds

I'd like to start off by saying I really think I need a new name for my blog; my life is currently not all that "adventurous".  A year ago today it was quite adventurous and exciting as I was living the single life to the fullest (as full as a single mom could live it anyway).  Now my life is much more introspective, focused and purposeful.  I'm realizing I need to find some balance though and add a little fun back in.... I'll figure it out.  In the meantime, catchy blog name suggestions welcome.

So Mission Waste Management got off to a rocky start.  Bokashi bin was working great, but a week after starting my worm bin and a few days after adding 500 worms I ordered online I noticed my worms were trying to run for the hills!  I put them back in and mixed the contents of the bin (which is very smelly and disgusting and large rubber cleaning gloves only offered so much protection) but the worms were still desperately trying to escape the bin.  I Googled for a solution and the only one I found was that the bin may be too acidic, possibly due to citrus scraps.  Grapefruit was on sale for 2 weeks in a row, and I didn't realize it was bad to put too many citrus peels in!  One site suggested adding garden lyme; I found the last bag available at Home Depot.  I added some, had no idea how much the website didn't say, and mixed it all up again.... worms still unhappy. 

I had a moment of "Forget it, I give up, I fail at anything that requires skill with nature, I'm putting on my shiny red heels and stomping down to Boeringer to apply for a job as a pharm rep... I surrender!"  I quickly remembered the grim reality that in 5 years time I won't have options such as this.... Survival driven, I decided to re-do the bin; dumping all the contents into a separate bin, picking out some of the still intact citrus peels, laying down fresh bedding (damp, shredded newspaper) and then adding the contents back in.  This was a messy, smelly endeavour- by now we had put the bin in the garage due to the smell.  Next morning I checked the wormies....... Success!! They were staying in the bin and seemed content.

I was reminded of my youth; living in northern CA and playing outside, in the streets, in the woods, learning by experience, trial and error, and the determination I had to produce the result I wanted whether it was building an elaborate fort out of tree brush or riding my bike without holding on to the handlebars or making a "potion" that you could dip your finger in and remove it dry (true story, it involved rubbing alcohol and face powder...).  This whole thing has me rediscovering my ingenuity; a wonderful human quality which modern day technology has caused most people to discard. But how lucky are we now that concrete, researched information is so accessible?! A little know-how via books, google and youtube, and a little trial and error and wha-la!! 

I feel great awakening within myself; like I was always meant for this.  I've always felt intuitively that I am a creature of the earth; hearty, sturdy, thoughtful, creative, adaptable.... carnal...  This is the next evolution for mankind; to find balance between spirituality, carnality and mortality.... between technological and primordial. It is scary, but exciting... like how Eve must have felt right before she bit into the apple.... which only reaffirms that I need to get that tattooed on meh!!  OK folks, happily hopping off my soap box, off to clean my house :)

Ta-ta for now,
Mizz Z

Gnocchi with Butternut Squash Puree

I just concocted this tonight and it was bangin, thought I'd share.  It's vegetarian (but not vegan), my measurements are probly not exact, I don't really measure stuff when I cook, that's why I suck at baking.

1 small butternut squash
3 or 4 cloves garlic
3 Tbsp melted butter
2 or 3 Tbsp agave nectar
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1 cup prepared vegetarian chicken stock (I used this "vegetarian chicken broth powder" I found in the bulk spice bins at New Morning, great find!)
1 or 2 Tbsp fresh chopped rosemary
1/2 cup crumbled Gorgonzola cheese

I quartered the butternut squash and threw it on a sheet pan with the cloves of garlic (unpeeled), drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with salt.  Stick it in the oven at 450 degrees for about 20 minutes or until the garlic looks browned and you can stick a fork through the squash pieces.  Let cool then scoop out the squash from the peel and put in the blender.  Add garlic cloves by squeezing the garlic out of the peel right into the blender.  Add chicken stock, butter, agave nectar and thyme, blend, salt to taste.  Separately, mix the rosemary and Gorgonzola together.
Fresh gnocchi is best but i used frozen, boiled.  Pour the sauce over the gnocchi and sprinkle with the the rosemary Gorgonzola, soooooo yummy!  I served it with a side of sauteed kale :p

That's all for now!

100th monkey, slow progress

Phase One of my effort to live a more sustainable lifestyle (initial recycling and conservation efforts i'm not really counting since it only required a little belt tightening; I know how to do that stuff): Composting

Not an easy project to start in the winter and may be near impossible to maintain depending on your living situation.  We have plenty of space on my (rented) property to have a compost pile/bin outside in the spring/summer, but I wanted to start now since I found out that the methane gas emitted by decomposing food and other material in landfills actually has more greenhouse effect than CO2.  Not to mention I will be needing some fertilizer for my garden by June, which I plan to quadruple the size of this year.

So here's the whole point of these "100th Monkey" blogs: I spent some energy doing research online and found an easy way to keep up your composting in the winter, and now I want to detail it really simply for you, so you can see how easy it is to make these changes that make a big difference (if EVERYONE just made them).

Bokashi:   A bacterial culture that naturally helps compost material break down faster (break down into nutrient rich soil).  Bought this indoor compost bin and one bag of Bokashi accelerator for $80 on line (with shipping).  Fits right under my sink, I keep a large jar on my kitchen counter and when it fills with food scraps I just empty it into the bin and sprinkle a little bokashi over it, mix it up with a wooden spoon and close it.  That's it.  And REALLY it's not that gross and doesn't smell bad and to boot it has this spout at the bottom, fluid collects in a compartment under the bin and you drain it out, sposed to be AWESOME for watering your household plants or even clearing clogged or slow sink drains, naturally!

Worm Bin:  But my Bokashi bin is only 5 gallons, so where was I gonna put that stuff when the bin got full?  After researching, it seemed like a worm bin would be the best, cheapest, indoor solution.  Found some easy directions online : http://whatcom.wsu.edu/ag/compost/easywormbin.htm cost = $20 for two, 14 gallon bins and a dozen worms (although I think i'm gonna need more, like another 3 dozen maybe, they were only $3 per dozen at a tackle shop).  I haven't had to empty my Bokashi bin into it yet, so we just started it with damp shredded newspaper, some leaves, dirt and food scraps and when we opened it the next morning the worms had burrowed down into it and I think they're pretty happy.  This IS kinda smelly, and I'm thinkin we may have to put it downstairs in the garage, it can't be too cold though so it can't go outside.

By April we will transfer both of these to an outside bin, this indoor system is only necessary October through April (in New England).  We cut down our household garbage to one small bag this past week; that's five people, one full week. I think that's pretty good, imagine if every 5 person household only produced that amount of garbage per week?  I also cut way down on the amount of packaged food I buy, I didn't buy much to begin with but now I've even stopped buying the kid's juice boxes (they take small water bottles which we just keep re-using), ice cream or desert products, bagged shredded cheese or string cheeses (many bags are recyclable but those often are not, look for the triangle before you purchase that bagged food!) even breakfast cereal (made my own granola using items you can find in bulk bins at the health food store, it's delicious!!)

Final Thought Last night I was making my boyfriend and I a fritata for dinner, he looked in the fridge, found we had only 3 eggs and was PO'd he had to drive to the store and get more.... how dare he have to wait for his fritata!! How much in our modern lives do we take things like refrigeration, store bought eggs, driving a car, and grocery stores for-granted??  These conveniences will NOT be available to our children's generation if we don't learn to do some mildly inconvenient and easy things to care for our planet and conserve it's resources.... think about it.  Ta-ta for now, xo

We are sheep, peeps.

Anyone else feeling insulted by some of these advertisements lately?  I'd like to think I'm above advertising ploys; like I'm too smart for these marketers to outwit me, no matter how much they've studied the psychology of American consumers. And yet I'll be in the grocery store contemplating over whether to buy  Arm and Hammer or Tide laundry detergent and have to admit that I feel swayed towards the Tide not because it's better in my experience but because it must be better it says so on TV and it costs more! 

What we all need to do is stop watching so much damn TV for starters.  But what started me thinking about this was not TV ads but the ones I've seen on the internet lately.  Mostly for online schools or mortgage companies it's simply a random picture or quick video that catches your eye, the picture does not relate to the headline of the advertisment but it doesn't matter; apparently if they've gotten you to look it's a win.  I'm guessing by tracking cookies, marketers have found these ads to be successful, right?  Apparently we are mindless sheep. This supports my theory that people may be devolving.  Technology has made life so easy that most people's brains just don't have to work as hard and are reverting back to primitive ways of thinking.  So a few people are evolving and they are creating technology that is causing the rest of us to devolve..... turn off the TV, step away from the shopping mall, and get back into reading and doing people or your bloodline is gonna be phased out!!