OK, I think this is MUCH better than my original, highly autobiographical and a bit TMI on some pretty personal stuff. Again, feedback is appreciated :)
.My name is Erin Zaffis and I’m applying to the Integrated Health and Healing program. Having worked as a registered nurse for the last 12 years, added to a life-long interest in environmental issues, has caused me to feel that in the very near future health care will become highly focused on health promotion, disease prevention and natural alternatives to the current expensive and often toxic therapies. I will explain why I firmly believe this, but first, I’d like to give you a little history about myself; the story of how I got to where I am today is an interesting one. I’ll attempt to keep it short and pertinent.
People have always told me I have a creative mind. If that’s true, and I think it is, I would deny that this is solely the work of genetics and point to my upbringing; five key years of which were spent in Northern California. It was my sister, my (single) mother and I living in a coastal town about 50-plus miles north of San Francisco. We were far away and secluded from any highways, malls, theme parks, Chuck E. Cheese’s and most other trademarks of modern American culture. My eyes and my heart absorbed the beauty and diversity of this place; ocean, sand, tide pools full of cold water marine life, rocky cliffs topped with hardy grass and native succulents, foggy mornings, redwood forests and colorful townspeople with contrasting lifestyles and views. I had an insatiable curiosity which turned the one acre forest in our back yard into my personal school and laboratory. Once I discovered the freedom that learning how to ride on two wheels brought me, the small town became my very own Disney World. I explored every corner of it finding new secrets, treasures and pleasures. Did I mention we had no television? I’m forever grateful that for those years my mother and nature were my greatest teachers rather than numerous American advertising executives. I became a doer and an independent thinker. I’m still not sure exactly what switch flipped when we moved back to New England. We returned to our quiet farm town to find it quickly transforming into a wealthy suburb. I suppose this culture shock introduced at a vulnerable time in my life (early teens) caused me to feel a bit lost. At 15 I met a boy and “fell in love”. Before I was able to develop the vision of the adult I wanted to become, I threw my whole identity into who I would become with this person. It was no surprise I was pregnant at 16 and a mother by 17.
Within the first year after my daughter was born I came to the realization that in order to adequately support her I would need a college education. My high school guidance counselor pointed me in the direction of nursing, with its boasts of a growing job market, flexibility and good pay. I enjoyed people and excelled in science, so logically it seemed like a good fit. I also had a personal interest in childbirth; the birth of my daughter was somewhat traumatic and left me feeling abused by the health care system. I saw an opportunity, as a maternity nurse, to create positive change. I’m not sure what my drive and tenacity can be attributed to; I suppose that’s where genetics comes into play. Statistically it is unlikely that teenage mothers will attain their college degree, and yet after 4 years (and a summer) I had earned my Bachelor’s in Nursing, graduating with honors. By this time my daughter was ready to start kindergarten and her father and I had gotten married.
I struggled with my new career as a nurse. I didn’t feel I fit in with the hardened and cynical women who ruled the hospital floors and I also didn’t feel I was helping any of my patients with their countless prescribed medications and expensive diagnostic tests; few of them ever seemed to get better. Their hopeless conditions mirrored my hopelessness for a comfortable niche in the profession I had chosen. Just as I was ready to give up on nursing, I landed the job I had desired, on the maternity floor. My new role as health promoter and educator suited me much better, but I found myself frustrated with the maternity care system, which I began to see as wasteful, borderline barbaric, and very reluctant to change.
Everything started to turn around after the birth of my second daughter; when I was offered a position at the natural birthing center adjacent to the maternity floor (where I had birthed her). Finally I was doing something I truly believed in; assisting with births that were treated as a beautiful, spiritual, natural female rite of passage and not as a surgical procedure. I started reading up on midwifery and natural childbirth. I took over teaching classes that the midwives previously taught and reorganized the birthing and supplies rooms to make our work easier. Within 4 years I went from a per diem position, to the (only) full time on-call position, to manager of the small unit. I also became a La Leche League Leader after the birth of my third daughter. I was taking on more of a leadership role and slowly gaining confidence in my abilities as a nurse, collaborator and educator. As I was building my career and my confidence grew, so did the widening rift between my spouse and I. I decided to file for divorce in early 2009; I still revere this as the hardest decision of my life. By that August I was moved out on my own, with my 3 girls now ages 15, 7 and 3.
At 32 years old, this was my first time ever living on my own; truly independent and not accountable to any other adult. I embraced the freedom like a prisoner released after half a lifetime. The world was suddenly all new to me and wide open calling for me to taste of all that I had missed out on. It was like the 32 year old me went back in time, took the 15 year olds hand and said, “Ok now, we’ve been stalling for too many years, it’s time to find out who we really are.” Today I am humored to find myself gone full circle, right in the place I feel I started; a curious and experimental child of the earth, finding great inspiration in nature and learning great respect for it. I’ve taken another look at my roots; what I was taught when I lived in Northern California from the many conservationists (aka, “tree huggers”) who resided there. Looking at the world from an environmental standpoint has given me a very different perspective. I see humans living in total disconnect from their planet, as if they’ve been transported to another (Hollywood) dimension where life endlessly endures no matter what; there is no cause and effect, no consequences. I see a world where instant gratification has led to perpetual dissatisfaction and the never ending pursuit of happiness through the acquisition of things. I would love to be a catalyst for change; to help people break out of this cycle of consumption, debt, sickness, sadness and more consumption.
I took a weekend seminar in March of this year on “Transition Initiative”, a movement that began in England and is now spreading to all industrialized civilizations across the globe. “Transition” is a movement based on the reality of growing populations and higher standards of living coupled with limited resources. It takes a serious look at how we might face the challenges of the future, having spent the last 50 years in denial of our confinement on this one planet. I have decided to have hope for the human race; believing we can drastically change our thinking and find a way to pull together and create a future that is actually better than the current state of affairs. Concerning health care, as we move towards sustainable communities it is reasonable to believe people may naturally be healthier; consuming less processed foods. For what conditions still linger, we will have to develop new, less energy consumptive methods of treatment. It is exciting when I think of how we might combine effective ancient health care practices with the knowledge we’ve gained through years of medical research that industrialization has afforded us. I also came to the realization that in the future people will most likely be living closer to each other, as transportation becomes more expensive. Mental health care will become very important in newly compacted communities. So, as you can see, it seems logical that health care will naturally trend towards a more holistic approach.
I consider myself lucky that I am able to identify, accept, and (hopefully) embrace the drastic changes we face over the next 20 years, but I realize I am the minority. I have given much thought to how the majority might be gently guided towards necessary changes in their attitudes and lifestyles. I have decided to lean towards health promotion, which is already gaining popularity, taking the stance that personal health and the environment are two matters that really cannot be removed from one another. I am working on an idea to combine my two passions by inspiring people to take up bicycling, which naturally merges needed exercise with sustainable transportation. Like other activities I enjoyed in my youth (nature, art, music) I have taken up cycling again and have developed a real passion for it. City people are comfortable on 2 wheels but I’m discovering suburban folks are not and I’d like to start locally by offering beginner classes in cycling. I am collaborating with a local bike shop owner to offer these classes starting in the spring. I've also started a blog (thegreenbikeblog.blogspot.com) and have a website in the works. I’d really like to see where this could go.
In conclusion, I see my education through The Graduate Institute helping me in any direction I choose to take; as a continuing member of a health care team or as an entrepreneur. In either event, my ultimate goal in life has always been to be a positive influence; on the lives of individuals, on the world as a whole, and probably most importantly, as a role model for my three amazing daughters.
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