Turn off the Noise

I came to the conclusion a couple months ago that I am spread to thin.  I have been unable to keep up with all the obligations I'm committed to at the moment and feel I'm losing my grip on all of them.  Since then I've been debating over the best way to tackle this problem.  Something has to go on the chopping block, but what? For starters I found a valid excuse to take a term off from my teaching job, so that will free up some energy for a few months (a few key months since my kids will be home and my brain will be tired just on account of that!). 

But I worry this won't be enough.  I have found myself becoming very forgetful and easily distracted lately; forgetting appointments, where I put things, constantly walking back to a room I was just in to get something I should have grabbed while I was there.... ya know.  I concluded a few days ago that if there was a concrete solution to this problem I would buy it/do it.  If I could increase my brain function (significantly) by eliminating dairy or simple sugars or taking some supplement, I would do it! I can't express my feeling of desperation over this lately; I'm just way too busy for my brain to be shorting out on me like this all the time.  I was on the verge of making a doctors appointment yesterday (or maybe calling a naturopath) when later in the day I noticed I seemed to be having a 6 hour streak of clarity.  I was at work and for some reason it seemed effortless.  The tasks I usually find tedious I accomplished easily and quickly, without much physical or mental exertion, and I was finished and out the door exactly when I intended to be. I starting examining this freak occurrence as I walked out of the hospital.  So here comes my grand revelation.....

I realized I hadn't thought about myself for a number of hours.  I hadn't worried about how I looked, what I was eating, what someone thought about me, if I forgot something or screwed up somehow, second guessing myself, etc.  I hadn't put any criticism on myself all night! Don't ask me how this occurred, I really don't know.  Maybe my ego just plain got tired and took a nap for a while.  I realized maybe, just maybe, it was this constant self criticism, this constant self absorption, that creates a distracting noise in my brain.  A constant distracting (and often discouraging), nagging, voice. No, i'm not schizophrenic, but I apparently still need to see my therapist on a regular basis.  I can't say I've had such luck today, I'm not sure how to recreate the conditions that cause something in my brain to just snap like that, to turn off the noise.  Welp, calling my therapist for an appointment tomorrow.  I may still call the naturopath too, my insurance covers it so why not :)

Content to say I'm still figuring it all out, hope you are too,

Miss Z

Garden (mini-farm) Update

Learning the ways of things that grow from the ground, and loving it!  One concept I discovered, very simple: the leaves absorb the energy from the sun and the roots absorb the nutrients from the soil..... so if bugs eat the leaves no matter how good the roots are the plant dies.  Thankfully we've only had a slight bug problem but I'm gonna nip that in the bud; seeing a LOT of spiders and leaving them be hoping they'll eat whatever's eating my leaves and also ordering lady bugs, supposably they help control the aphids....  
So here are the pics I took this morning:

"Herb Spiral", got the idea from a really cool book, "Self Sufficiency for the 21st Century" (in my Amazon store!). Awesome book with a lot of good pictures and step by step instructions with photos for the ADD and time constrained momma.  My herbs are doing great, made Cory and I a delicious salad last night: Green leaf lettuce, red bell peppers, cucumbers, pickled leeks, red onions, both varieties of basil you see here (green and purple), cilantro, mint and parsley all tossed up with some Thai curry and brown sugar grilled shrimp and my Vietnamese dressing :P soooo good.

Some wild green onions growing right by, under the deck.  Should have put these in my salad! Gotta pick them today.

Sugar snap peas, first garden baby's born!

Lettuce bed, started from seed.  Can't quite figure out yet why the one in the lower left corner isn't growing as well :-/

Cory's tomatoes.  He's so proud :) I think these were started from seed. What's great is at this point we have no idea what varieties we planted and where; we started most from seed, 4 different varieties, some died and we replanted with stuff we bought or got from friends.... will be a total surprise when they begin to bear fruit.

Growing food anywhere we have space, why not?! Strawberries and marigolds on top, herbs second level and lettuce in the bottom.  This is just a "Stack-a-Pot" I bought at Kmart to put on the deck.  Soon to come, an experiment involving corn stalks, pole beans and winter squash planted together alternating with sunflowers, to border/grow up the side of the deck..... my friend http://applenamos.blogspot.com/ came up with this idea, hope it works if it does it will be beautiful and edible! Never would have thought I could go from killing houseplants one year to growing a huge ass garden the next... just goes to show you, with the right motivation you can do anything :)

Weather here in South-mid-west CT is gorgeous, let the sun warm your soul, have the best day ever,

<3 Miss Z